|“||Sorry, I tend to fall asleep when I'm watching things I don't give a shit about.||”|
Bert Hickey is one of the voice commentators for the 2013 Cheer Nationals, 2014 Kansas State High School Football Championships, and the former announcer for the Superbowl. His co-announcer is Jeannie Halverstad.
Bert was the announcer for the Superbowl up until he was dismissed after, as Jeannie put it, his "use of the n-word", which he claimed to have said when he thought the power was out in the stadium when it wasn't. Apparently the only jobs he can get now are smaller than his Superbowl gig, which is why he had to be one of the commentators for the 2013 Cheer Nationals. Bert reveals in Episode 55 that he is fresh out of being in a Venezuelan prison. He apparently had to stab his friend "Randal" for a pair of shower sandals. Bert also went on to commentate the state finals in Season 3.
Bert has no ties with any other characters in the show besides Jeannie Halverstad, and that is only because they both are voice announcers. Jeannie doesn't really care much for him, and constantly puts him down whether it be his looks or the way he smells. Sometime off screen, he received a blowjob in the men's bathroom by Jonathan Getslinhaumer via a glory hole.