|“||Well, I'm twenty-seven and I'm still living with my parents in Overland Park. I have an art history degree from night school. My cat just died. I've lost 25 percent control of my sphincter muscles. I get a clicking sound in my jaw when I eat. I drive a '91 Dodge Neon. I have ovarian cysts. Sometimes I pee the bed still. I have alopecia. The only man who wants to fuck me is my 48-year-old manager at Pizza Street. P.S., he only has one ball. So I guess... better than you.||”|
|—Bridget to Judith in Episode 7|
Bridget Tice is Rachel Tice's seemingly cold, sarcastic older sister.
Bridget Tice is cynical, extremely sarcastic and it seems she can't stand to be around anyone. It also seems as if she is willing to complain to anyone about how her life is, judging on the small question asked to her and her reply to it being a long laundry list of problems she had to deal with.
Bridget is 27 years old and still lives with her parents in Overland Park. She has an art history degree from a night school, a dead cat, she's lost 25% control of her sphincter muscles, she gets a clicking sound in her jaw when she eats. She drives a '91 Dodge Neon, has ovarian cysts (sometimes she pees the bed), alopecia, and the only man who wants to sleep with her is Terry Doleman, her 48 year old manager at Pizza Street who only has one testicle. In Episode 66, she revealed to Jenna Dapananian that she uses heroin.
- Doll: Brave's Merida
- Where to Buy: Target
Bridget Tice's dress is, or closely resembles, that of which comes on the Barbie Fashionistas Summer Doll Leopard Print Dress (Shay Van Buren doll) with perhaps a skirt (and) belt put over the bottom half of the dress.
Bridget shows disdain toward her little sister Rachel and is slightly more violent towards her than a normal sister(whenever Rachel insults her she beats her). She constantly verbally harasses her such as in Episode 12 where she comments on her dress looking like a tampon dipped in skittles and vomit.
Episode Appearances Edit
"The answer to a question I never asked."
"I'm being paid $50 to stand here, not to talk to Rick Taylor's bottom. Go away now."
"Considering I'm at my place of work, it would probably be a poor idea to partake in narcotics. Also, I had a lot of heroin this morning. So yeah, I'm good."
"Is this jealousy I'm feeling? Nope, that's just the heroin tapering off."
"You smell like maple syrup and meat." -To Lunch Lady Belinda, ''EP''1'S13
"Did that come with balls and a dick, or did you buy that separately?"
"You look like a tampon that was dipped in skittles and vomit." -To Rachel Tice, EP13S1
(After hearing Fuck off) "Don't mind if I do." -To Brittnay Matthews, EP13S1
"I have a doctor's appointment. I have one of those dead twin thingies."
"Just like you tried to make a family with me in the walk-in freezer last night?"
"No I'm just dead inside. You would be too if you knew what I had to do to get this pizza."
"I've been huffing paint with homeless guys behind the Ambica Foods on Metcalf just to feel alive. I have nothing to lose."
"Well, I'm 27 and still living with my parents in Overland Park. I have an art history degree from a night school. My cat just died. I just lost 25% control of my sphincter muscles. I gets a clicking sound in my jaw when I eat,I drive a 91 dodge neon, I have ovarian cysts. Sometimes I pee the bed still. I has alopecia. The only man who wants to fuck me is my 48 year-old manager at Pizza Street PS he only has one ball. So ... better than you."
Cameron: "Give me a slice of pizza. no cheese, no sauce, gluten free crust. Do you have protein boost's too?
Bridget: "Are you sure you don't want a glass of diet air with that?
Cameron: "Is that supposed to be some kind of joke?'
Bridget: "You got me, We only have full calorie air." - Conversation between Cameron Van Buren and 'Bridget.
"The only happiness come in death"
"What's really weird is that I work in a restaurant yet I haven't washed my hands since Sunday."
"Here's a vision a 27 year old woman spending every waking moment working in the bowels of hell. Oh wait, that's a nightmare. A nightmare I call my Life."
"I'm going to watch it in the family room, you stupid fucking abortion."
- Bridget is a fan of the HBO show "GIRLS."
- She has been described by Tristan Mckie, as the lovechild of Daria and Miranda from "Sex and the City."