|“||I want to poop here, whenever I want, for as long as I want.||”|
–Deandra, The New Girl
Deandra "The New Girl" is a student and football player, and former cheerleader, at Overland Park High School (rejoined in part 1 of the second season finale). She is fairly new, recently moved from Atchison, Kansas, which is "North of Topeka, and west of the 71." Through odd circumstances, she is a sworn-in cousin of the Van Buren family and a temporary member of the Cheer Squad in the first season. As revealed in the second season, Deandra was the former head cheerleader and back handspring specialist of the Atchison High school. She has been a member of the Overland Park Football Team since episode 41, replacing Justin Michaelson.
She easily makes friends with everyone, which is shown by how quickly she and Mackenzie Zales started to talk in the girl's bathroom.
Unlike most girls who deal with their trivial problems through anger and manipulation, Deandra seems preoccupied with her basic needs, such as finding a bathroom to poop in because of her Irritable Bowel Syndrome, and eating as much junk food as possible, which is seen throughout the series. For the most part, Deandra finds it pointless that girls are always set on revenge. She is hardly vain about her looks. She can be seen as tough and practical and, despite wearing feminine attire, is largely a tomboy.
When there was no prospect of her being a Prom Queen, she was indifferent about the prom until she was nominated, when she said "Yeah! I'm gonna be prom queen! I'm gonna be prom queen! Suck my dick. Suck my dick. Suck my dick. I did it! I did it!" She wound up as the second runner-up, which annoyed her due to having lost two arms just to be in third place. "I got my arms ripped off for second runner up? This is fucking bullshit, this would never happen at Atchison."
She has been shown to be somewhat disloyal since she worked for the cheerleaders and the Van Buren sisters, who strongly oppose each other. It could also be due to her indecisiveness: choosing all options: "Both."
In season two, although she generally does not take revenge, Deandra sets out to trump the Atchison High Lady Jaguars Cheer Squad by rejoining the Overland Park Cheer Squad as its sixth member. She does not take betrayal lightly, despite her otherwise easy-going personality.
Deandra loves eating and is often consuming large amounts of food. Due to her pooping as much as she eats, she remains a solid size 0 clothes wise. Most people like to take advantage of her willingness and desire to eat a lot of food, from the poprocks given to her that ended in her exile to Mackenzie luring her to talk to her with the promise of pie.
She is unaffected and unamused by most insults and instead retaliates with her own.
- Brittnay: "Where's what? An oil can? We don't have one, Johnny Five. Take a walk."
- Deandra: "Oh that's funny. Maybe later I will show you what your spleen looks like."
In Episode 11, she loses both her arms after the cheer squad and the Van Buren family fought over Deandra. The incident didn't devastate her; she was able to run in the Paralympics, lost weight and believed that losing her arms would gain pity votes rather than popularity votes when nominated for prom queen, which Mackenzie, Brittnay and Shay would have gotten.
In season two, Deandra's father buys her prosthetics: one human and one robotic due to her indecisiveness. Her robotic arm has some advantages: enhanced strength as shown in Episode 17, when she forcibly buys wine without an ID by grabbing the clerk with it and threatens to sell his organs on the black market, and in Episode 22, she effortlessly throws Ashley Katchadourian into the mall fountain. In Episode 30 she was able to carry the entire Overland Park cheer squad for their grand finale of their cheer routine, in a upside down version of the pyramid. This allowed Overland to win the Cheer Nationals.
When she appeared on The Trisha Show, she was asked how she coped with losing her arms, and she stated she found help through meditation and "a little Buddhism".
Her robotic arm helped convince Matthew Derringer and the rest of the football team that even though she's a girl she could be on the team, and she happily joins them when she finds out after the games they eat at an all-you-can-eat buffet at Pizza Street for free.
Shay Van Buren: Shay provides Deandra with more than enough information about the girls in Overland Park High School. She also shares the root of her problem with Mackenzie to Deandra. Shay immediately recruits Deandra in Episode 5 into the Van Buren family. Deandra seems to be in friendlier terms with the Van Buren family than the cheer squad. After Deandra's arms were ripped off, their relationship was strained and Deandra called included her as part of the "dumb whores" nominated for Prom Queen. Shay tries to repair their friendship in season two by inviting her over for dinner.
Cameron Van Buren: She immediately recruits Deandra into the Van Buren family since Deandra is friends with Shay. After Deandra's arms were ripped off, the relationship between the Van Buren sisters and Deandra had become strained. She doesn't directly apologize to Deandra after the incident, but feels guilty when Deandra briefly brings up the incident. As Cameron defends her family, Deandra is part of it.
Mackenzie Zales: the first person Deandra verbally fights with. After the declaration of war with the Van Buren sisters, Mackenzie recruits Deandra to be part of the cheer squad in exchange for the key to a luxurious bathroom for Overland Park's elite at the Overland Park Mall. Often, they are neither in friendly terms nor animus toward each other.Brittnay Matthews: Deandra refers to her as "Hand-Job Girl," which aggravates Brittnay. Generally, they do not get along. In season two, Brittnay tries to insult Deandra by mentioning her robotic arm. Deandra isn't receptive of her insults since Brittnay is part of the reason that she has a robotic arm.
Trisha Cappelletti: Trisha blindly wants to befriend Deandra, just as Trisha wants to be friends with everyone. Deandra doesn't remember her. Trisha berates Ashley Katchadourian after Deandra's arms were ripped off.
Atchison High Cheer Squad: In 2011, she was the head cheerleader and back handspring specialist of Atchison High Lady Jaguars. During that time, Tanya Berkowitz was her protegee. Tanya sabotaged Deandra, which caused Deandra to quickly leave Atchison High. It is revealed that Deandra had explosive diarrhea all over the squad and stadium. A "whoopsie poopsie."
AppearanceEditDoll Type: Ja-ru Toys Fashion Girl doll
Clothing: Deandra wears boots that look like the ones that come on Shay Van Buren. For most of the series, she wore the white, Marilyn-style dress.
Episode Appearances Edit
- Season One (10/13)
- Season Two (9/17)
- Deandra is the only main character who has worn one outfit until Episode 28, where she wears the Overland Park Cheer Squad uniform.
- As of Episode 41, she is currently the only female member of the Overland Park Football Team.
- She has no romantic interest towards anyone, not even back when she was popular.
- Her last name begins with an A, B or C (as she was the first student on the attendance list and came before Trisha Cappaletti). She told her teacher however, to ignore her last name.
- She was the first guest to appear on The Trisha Show.
- She is a size zero.
- She has changed her hairstyle throughout the seasons, from a high ponytail to a loose one.
- She started a book club but apparently takes it too seriously and berates members when they don't understand the plot of whatever book they're reading.
- She delivered Saison Marguerite's baby (with her eating arm).
- While delivering Saison's baby, she mentioned that she's a registered mid-wife.
- She is an honorary member of the Van Buren family.
"Jesus Christ, is that a fucking gremlin?"
"I want. To poop here. whenever I want, for as long as I want."
"It means whatever the fuck you want it to mean."
"I got my fucking arms ripped off for second runner-up? This is fucking bullshit. I don't even know what place second runner-up is."
"Have fun smelling my poops, bitches!"
"Listen, I am buying this bottle of wine. Either you can sell it to me, or I can sell your organs on the blackmarket. So far tonight, your little powertrip has cost me twenty-five minutes that I could've spent eating a delicious chicken-fried prime rib dinner. So while I hold your fragile little life in my stainless steel fingertips, I ask you, cashier: Do you need my ID? DO YOU???"
"Going to stores and then buying things! Hopefully I'm making a stop at the food court- AHHH! SATAN!"
"I'm gonna be a prom queen, I'm gonna be a prom queen! Suck my dick! Suck my dick! Suck my dick! I did it! I did it!"
"Oh! Well, it's a city in central Kansas situated along the Missouri River with a population of eleven-thousand. Named after David Rice Atchison, and every July the city holds an Amelia Earhart Festival, where rest assured, there is always plenty of fucking pie!"
"Oh, I'm sorry, but in what universe is an emoji of pie proceeded by the words, "want some" not a clear indication that you are in possession of pie and are offering it to me? If this is your idea of a joke, you better start putting these goddamn winky faces and JK's in these fucking text messages, Zales. Good day."
"Justice. And a Slim Jim."
"Most guys don't wanna fuck a girl with no arms. And the ones who do are very strange."
"When you pressure blast Mountain Dew out of your anus, it's not easily forgotten. After that, I was ruined. I wasn't just the girl who pooped her pants. I was the girl who monster dumped on two prom court members, a candy cane princess, and the junior class treasurer."
"Gobble gobble, motherfucker. Gobble gobble."
"A taco taco. If you will."
"Um... Let me get some tater tots. Oh, and a slice of pepperoni pizza. And also a basket of jalapeno poppers. And some chicken nuggets, a ketchup boat, three potato pancakes, a creamsicle, two quesadillas, a bread loaf, a side of ranch, some Pixie Stix, taco salad, order of ribs, aaaaaaand a Diet Coke. No. Strawberry shake. No. Diet Coke. No. Both."
"Now it;s time to execute operation Thanks-give-me. That's such a good name. Such a good name."
"I had what we in the IBS community call... A whoopsie poopsie."
"My first order of buisiness was to always find a bathroom to poop in."
"They just opened an IHOP on 119th street.That's seven continents worth of pancakes for me to discover! So if you don't mind I will bid you adieu."
"I have to poop now."
"The one that looks human. No. Robotic. No. Human. No. Robotic. No. Both."
"So do you. You want a fucking medal?"
"You're the handjob girl, right?"
"Who got me? The three tostadas I had for lunch? Yes, they got me. They got me bad."
"And a big black dildo!"
"I want you to remember nobody comes into our house and pushes us around!"
"I feel indifferent towards you."