This is a transcribed copy of Episode 15. Feel free to edit or add to this page, as long as the information comes directly from the episode.
Previous: Episode 14 Next: Episode 16

(Judith and Rachel are grooming themselves in front of a mirror)
Bridget: Judith, your motorcycle is parked behind my car. Can you move it. Now?
Rachel: We'll be out in a minute. We're just getting ready for school.
Judith: Yeah, we're the popular girls now.
Bridget: Somehow I doubt that.
Rachel: No, it's true Bridget.
Judith: That's why we're taking so long.
Rachel: Popular girls take their time.
Bridget: I don't think it's gonna matter how long it takes to put on a troll shirt. Just hurry. I have a doctor's appointment. I have one of those dead twin thingies.
Rachel: We'll be ready when we're ready.
Bridget: How bout you be ready now or those eight episodes of Pretty Little Liars on the DVR get "accidentally" erased.
Rachel: You wouldn't.
Bridget: Really? I've been huffing paint with homeless guys behind the Ambica Foods on Metcalfe just to feel alive. I have nothing to lose.
Rachel: We should probably get going.
Judith: Your sister's so mature.
Rachel: That's a word for it.
(Judith and Rachel are walking down the hallway)
Rachel: Isn't this so much better now that we're popular?
Judith: I know everything feels so different. I hardly even recognize us.
Rachel: Hey, what's up bro?
(The blond boy walks past)
Judith: Wow!
Rachel: He gets it.
Judith: He didn't even curse at us or anything. Welcome to the new reality.
(Brittnay, Trisha, and Mackenzie walk over)
Judith: Hey, what's up sluts?
Rachel: So what are we all doing later? Some real popular girl stuff, like sex with boys, or shopping with our parents' money?
Trisha: Ew.
Brttnay: What the fuck are you talking about?
Judith: You know, us popular girls need to stick together.
Mackenzie: Oh. My. God. You think that just because you won prom queen, you're popular now.
Trisha: Yeah even I'm not that dumb.
Rachel: But... but... I gave a blowjay to every boy in school.
Judith: And I was watching the door.
Trisha: So important.
Mackenzie: That doesn't make you popular, that makes you a whore.
Judith: But Brittnay's a whore, and she's popular.
Mackenzie: Yes, but Brittnay's also a cheerleader. It's easy to be a whore.
Brittnay: It's super easy.
Mackenzie: In order to be popular, you have to combine your whorishness with another talent, like cheerleading. And the only talent you two have to offer... is your mouths.
Judith: Actually, I won't have full control of my mouth for another 18 months.
Mackenzie: Oh Jesus Christ you're a fucking train wreck.
Brittnay: Ugh, seriously, who in their right mind would subject their penis to a cage match with that?
Judith: Oh, I don't know, how about—like, um...
Rachel: You don't know, do you?
Judith: No, not at all.
Rachel: So, if I understand you correctly, you are saying that we are not popular.
Brittnay: The day I hang out with you is the day I floss my fucking teeth.
Mackenzie: Yeah! Wait, what?
Trisha: Brittnay, you really should be flossing twice a day. Gingivitis can actually lead to cancer.
Judith: It's true. That's how my dad died!
Mackenzie: Alright, that's enough of that, we should probably go. It'd be a shame if we skipped class just to waste an hour explaining to you how the world works.
Trisha: It's simple science.
Mackenzie: Brittnay, I'm going to let you take it from here.
(Trisha and Mackenzie walk off)
Brittnay: Well, Rachel Tice. It looks like it's that time.
Judith: Wha—what time is that?
Brittnay: Time for you to shut the fuck up Rachel Tice! If you're done shoving all those dicks in your mouth, why don't you go eat a roly-poly like you did in the goddamn third grade!
Judith: Whoa, I think I'm going to pass out.
(Brittnay walks off)
Rachel: Today, you do not get my tears, Brittnay Mathews.
Judith: Wait a minute, you ate a roly-poly in the third grade?
Rachel: I thought it was something else!
(Ashley is shown wearing a trenchcoat and sunglasses)
Ashley: Psst... psst... Uh, heard you're having a problem with the cheer squad. Maybe I can help.
Rachel: No thanks, we already kind of did that.
Judith: Yeah, didn't go over too well.
Rachel: We're just going to go do our own thing now for a while.
Ashley: Cool cool. Okay.
Judith: Later.
(Rachel and Judith walk off)

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